Thursday, March 10, 2011

Day 15- someone you miss the most

Well since my phone got smashed and that's how I do this blog I missed 2 days,,so I'm just going to pick up where I woukd be.

I could go with people.but in reality I miss an animal. Two animals actually. I miss my Ozzy more than I can explain but ill never get to see him again till I pass on. But Katie..my dear Katiegur..this is for her.


Dear Katiegurl,

Your not a human, your a horse. So you'll never read this or even understand how much I miss you. I know your happy and being taken care of. I wonder if you ever miss me, or if you even remember me. Seems stupid that I would write this letter to a horse, but you gave me so much peace, Katie. I can't explain how much I miss that peace. I remember when you were out in the pasture sprawled out like a foal. You were just laying there. I thought something was wrong, that you might be colicing again. So I went out to you. You lifted your head and just looked at me. When I sat down next to you, you put your head in my lap and went to sleep. You took a nap in my lap. It was something that just affirmed our bond. Trust like that is hard to come by. For those that don't understand the mental mechanics of the equine. Horses are flight animals. That's why they sleep standing up at night most of the time. If the sense danger or the posibility of anything the run. The fact that you stayed laying down and put your head in my lap to rest ment so much to me. You had no fear, no worries around me and it warmed my heart. I felt like you were the only thing I could find comfort in. But you weren't enough to keep me sane. I love you Katie, when I sold you I slept with your halter for months. I thought about going to see you, but I could never follow through with it. I guess just knowing that I wouldn't be able to take you back with me would crush me. They said your the best horse they've ever had. Didn't have to tell me that...I knew that already. Last I talked to them a few years ago, he said he wanted to breed you. I wonder how many foals you've produced. Mabey one day I could find one and have a little piece of you back. I have a place to keep him. Just not the finances...I'm tearing up right now..its crazy that a horse could have this kind of emotional affect on me. I went through a hard road Katie, I'm glad I didn't have to put you through it, you never had to go malnurished or abused. I knew I had to let you go so you wouldn't be hurt. It was hard....but it was the right thing. I hope I can find the strength to see you again Katie. Cause I've never stopped missing you. I miss your peace, I miss your smell. I miss climing on your back and just laying there feeling you breath while you grazed and Grandaddy yelling at me to get off cause you might take off and i'd fall. I knew you wouldn't though. Your an amazing animal Katiegurl....I miss you


Love with all my heart
Alexsey

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